Fertility Support Story: I Attended My First Circle of Hope Meeting


My first Circle of Hope Meeting, Latham, NY:
What an experience. I really don’t know what in the world I was 
thinking by waiting so long to attend my first Circle of Hope meeting! 
I have been a patient at CNY Fertility Center since December 1, 2011. Surrounded by 
women who are undergoing or have undergone the same cycle that I am was 
a comfort right away. I wasn’t alone despite that “all alone” 
feeling I have so often.
We were the first one’s to arrive- I dragged my husband along for
 support because I was scared, even though I would know of one person who 
was going to be there, a success story that was going to share her
 journey with the group tonight. Elaine, my fertility cheerleader, who I 
am so blessed to have, kind of fell in my lap solidifying how small of a
 world it really is particularly when it comes to infertility. She 
worked with my family member who put the two of us in touch and after
 several months of support urged my husband and I to come to the meeting 
to hear her journey. The seats quickly filled and the two women who 
were guests shared the ups and downs of their personal journeys with 
infertility. While they each spoke, I was reassured that this crazy 
emotional roller coaster that I was living was actually normal. I was
 normal!!! With my husband at my side, I began to sit a little bit 
taller, hoping he too would realize that his crazy hormonal wife
 wasn’t perhaps that crazy after all.
The hour and a half flew by, each person feeling emotional, tissues 
being passed, but smiles, lots of smiles, and laughter. I hadn’t 
expected that at all but then again, I really didn’t know what to
 expect I suppose. As things were wrapping up I quickly realized the 
most important thing I think no one has ever told me when it comes to 
infertility- everyone has a journey but each journey is very different. 
While we often have the same diagnosis or maybe even no diagnosis, we 
may even be on the same meds, the same cycle schedule, the same nurses 
and doctors, but we couldn’t be more different. The exact path of our 
journeys are so different and to finally realize this, well, that was my “
ah-ha” moment. I needed to stop trying to make myself fit into the mold
of a story I read on the internet/book and not beat myself up because I
didn’t. I am not a failure. I am different. And that is OK. I may
 not get pregnant in exactly 3 IUI’s and 2 IVF’s like patient A did, 
or pregnant on the first IVF like patient B, but we do share the same 
struggles, the same emotions, and the same yearning for a successful
outcome. In the end it seems so simple but sometimes that one darn tree
gets in the way of the entire forest.
Today I start my day feeling new hope, rejuvenated in my journey,
stronger in my relationship with my husband, and just plain blessed. I
will see my new Circle friends next month 🙂
Thank you for allowing me to share this.

1 reply
  1. Elaine
    Elaine says:

    Jill, You are amazing and I am honored to cheer you on. I can’t wait until I’m cheering you on through your pregnancy and into motherhood. Remember when all else fails fake until you make it! Hugs!

Comments are closed.