At CNY Fertility, we believe love makes a family and that every man has the right to become a father.
Of course, as a gay couple, you will need the help of a fertility specialist along with donor eggs and a gestational carrier to have a biological child of your own.
For gay men, there are generally a few pressing concerns about having a child:
Whose sperm will be used
Ultimately, the choice of whose sperm will be used is completely up to you. In fact, sperm from both partners can be used by fertilizing some of the eggs with one partner’s sperm and other eggs with the other partner’s sperm. Due to the cost of donor eggs and the significant effect of sperm health on fertilization, we highly suggest each partner go through a semen analysis (only $30 each) to determine each partners sperm health.
Who will be the egg donor
Certainly, there is no one answer when it comes to choosing the egg donor that is right for you. Generally, egg donors are split into known donors (a family or friend) and anonymous donors. Choosing what type of donor you use is completely up to you.
At CNY Fertility, we have a number of donor eggs available for purchase through our very own egg donor program with a number of plans including fresh eggs, frozen eggs, and known donor packages available. Of course, if you are hoping to use an anonymous donor and can’t find the perfect donor through our egg bank, you are more than welcome to pursue options at any NY State approved egg bank with the assistance of our donor team.
If choosing an anonymous donor through CNY, you will receive 6 eggs to be fertilized with the sperm of your choice (usually one of the two partners or both). When using a known donor, you will keep all of the eggs retrieved by your donor (whether that is more or less than 6 is completely variable and unknown until the actual retrieval). Usually, in a young and healthy donor, more than 6 eggs can be retrieved when using medications for ovarian stimulation.
Who will carry the child
Determining who will carry your child, known as a surrogate or gestational carrier, can often be the most challenging part of having a child as a gay man. Your surrogate or gestational carrier can be someone you know well or orchestrated through an agency.
A gestational carrier is a woman who volunteers to carry a pregnancy for someone who cannot otherwise carry a pregnancy for herself. A gestational carrier is technically not the same as a surrogate as a surrogate is someone who donates her egg and then subsequently carries the child.
As a gay couple, you still have many solutions available. It’s recommended that you start out by getting a basic semen analysis for both partners. A semen analysis is only $30 and can save thousands of dollars down the road by getting an understanding of your sperm health from the beginning.
Once your semen analysis has been performed, you will generally have one of a few options:
Using a surrogate (a woman who will be your egg donor and carry your child during pregnancy) and intrauterine insemination is one of the first solutions you may consider. In an IUI, the woman’s ovaries will be monitored during her cycle so when know the best time for insemination. Prior to insemination, one of the partner’s sperm will be washed (cleaned and concentrated) to improve fertilization.
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a more intensive treatment, but for an IVF procedure, you can use either a gestational carrier or a surrogate. For an IVF procedure, the woman’s eggs will be removed from her ovaries, inseminated in our embryology lab with either or both male partner sperm, then later transferred to your gestational carrier or surrogate.
If you choose to proceed with IVF, you will need to look further into egg donor packages, surrogacy, and gestational carriers.
Due to the complexity of the options available for gay men, it may be best to contact our donor team as soon as possible at firstname.lastname@example.org