Lindsey & Benjamin

Lindsey & Benjamin's Story:

Ben and I got married in October of 2021, and we knew immediately that we wanted to start trying for a family right away.

I had actually already begun fertility testing before getting married, just to be sure everything was working correctly. That’s when we first found out I wasn’t ovulating. Our doctor then said that when we’re ready, she can start us on clomid.

Our third month of clomid I got pregnant! We were so excited and surprised that it worked so quickly. Two weeks later, I started to cramp and bleed, and we unfortunately confirmed we lost that pregnancy.

At that time, I felt like I had gotten the worst out of the way, that a miscarriage is most of the time a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so I was hopeful. So we tried again. And boom, it worked! Three days later, after taking the test, I felt the same cramps preceded by bleeding. Our second loss. This is where I began to question everything.

My doctor started running tests, and absolutely everything was coming back normal. She gave us two options: to be referred to a fertility clinic or to try one more time.

We ended up trying one more time. This time they switched us to letrozole, and it took a few rounds to work, but we got pregnant for a third time. Everything was perfect! We went in for an appt and got to hear a heartbeat and see the little baby wiggle on ultrasound. This moment is literally etched in my brain. I can play it on repeat. I’ll never forget hearing that baby’s heartbeat. At about 11 weeks, I started to bleed and cramp. It felt all too familiar but I didn’t want to believe it. I had even gotten a Doppler and convinced myself I heard a heartbeat, but turns out it was mine I was listening to.

Our next appointment confirmed we lost our third pregnancy in a row. We were devastated and drove home in complete silence. We ended up being referred to a fertility clinic where they ran a few more tests— all coming back normal. Then we proceeded with IUIs. Since clomid/letrozole pregnancies came so easily for us, we figured IUIs would be the same. But unfortunately, we did four and none were successful.

We then looked into IVF, but the price tag was just a lot for us, and there were so many what-ifs. At this point, I was puzzled, but I remembered a few months back I had clicked on an ad on Facebook and set up an appointment with a clinic called CNY Fertility, and weirdly, that appointment was in just a few days.

Looking back, this is crazy, because I had to pay for the appt, and every bone in my body thought IUI would work, so I’m not for sure why I even booked the appt. It was fate, I guess. I went to that appointment, and they diagnosed me with PCOS, gave me some medication, and recommended keto carnivore.

So that’s what I did, and I felt better than I ever have and lost 25 lbs without feeling starving. In the past, with dieting, I always restricted too much and never lost any weight.

We did our egg retrieval and ended up with 11 embryos— almost all of the best quality embryos you can get! We ended up doing seven total transfers, one of which ended in our fourth miscarriage and a D & C.

After our 4th miscarriage, we ended up thawing our embryos and genetically testing them. 5/6 came back normal, which was great!

We never thought we would need that many embryo transfers, but CNY offered us patience, accommodations, affordability, and support.

We even got to do all of our monitoring appointments at a local hospital, and CNY Fertility worked with them to get results and provide treatment for us. Our 7th transfer resulted in our sweet baby boy, Jack Robert Zehner!

In the end, everything was worth it! We would do it over and over again if it meant it led us to Jack!

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Brandis did our retrieval and many of our transfers! She is great! She gives her patients “baby dust” which is little sprinkle like things in a small bottle after transfer. She’s also very informative. I love that her social media pages are dedicated to answering questions and providing podcasts on infertility topics. Incredibly insightful!

Helpful resources Lindsey & Benjamin found:

For me, the keto carnivore diet was helpful. It gave me something to hyper focus on that wasn’t exactly infertility. Also, I would utilize the CNY group Facebook page that way you can ask questions and connect with others that are experiencing the same thing! Lastly, if you are traveling to CNY’s location from out of state, don’t be afraid to explore the city a little. Colorado Springs is a beautiful location!

The Moment:

Finding out I was pregnant for the 5th time was scary. Being pregnant unfortunately loses some meaning after you’ve lost multiple pregnancies. Its more of an anxious experience when you know you could lose this life inside of you rather than the excitement and confidence that you will grow this life inside you. There was a lot of "what if's" playing through my mind.

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

There are soo many things I wish I knew before TTC! I wish I knew to advocate and push for more testing if I felt something was wrong.

I also wish I as more vocal about it at times. I didn’t say anything about our infertility for the longest time. Speaking of being vocal, I wish I had said more to those that would tell me continuously to stop stressing, it will happen.

I get it’s an easy thing to say but 85% of people struggling with infertility actually have an identifiable cause as to why they are struggling— none of those identifiable causes are stress.

Lastly, try your best not to be angry with God. I found myself after each loss asking why would you let this happen to me again? I didn’t understand and really I still don’t but I do know it made me stronger. A stronger person, a stronger wife, and now a stronger mother. And even though the journey was hard, I’m grateful for everything it brought me!