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Kristine & Dan

Infertility Diagnosis

  • Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)

Treatment(s)

  • In vitro Fertilization (IVF)

Kristine & Dan's Story:

5 years
No condoms
5 years
No birth control
5 years of family, friends and strangers alike,⁣
Asking, “when will you be ready for a few of your own?”⁣
5 years,
No shortage of tears

For 5 years we’ve been trying⁣
For a baby of our own
It would be a gift to be called “parents”⁣
& welcome a child into our home
Instead we’re left feeling broken,⁣ defeated & alone

It’s like an emptiness
That never leaves our doorstep
A constant reminder: ⁣
Maybe we’re not good enough

For 5 years we’ve kept quiet⁣
All the while bursting at the seams⁣
Maybe we’re not fit to be parents
Maybe this is just a bad dream

Feelings of doubt, shame, exhaustion, defeat⁣
All we wanted was to hear a heartbeat

Countless moments where we’ve felt “less than”⁣
Maybe we’re just not trying “hard enough”⁣
Perhaps, something is really wrong with us

Doctors visits, upon doctors visits⁣
A plethora of negative tests
Clomid, Divigel, Progesterone
Metformin, Spironolactone
Keto, Paleo, we’ve tried it all
A rigorous sex schedule, semen analyses
(still, no baby of our own)⁣

Since I was a little girl
I’ve aspired to be a mom
But at 19, a diagnosis of PCOS
Was dropped on me like a bomb ⁣
Gut-wrenching news
Echoed through the room that day
And I’ll never forget ⁣
“It’s likely you won’t be able to conceive
on your own”⁣

But I have so much love to give⁣
And I love being around kids ⁣
So I spent ten years as a nanny⁣
Trying to fill that hole⁣
A hole I’ve always feared ⁣
I’d never be able to fill ⁣
On my own

What breaks my heart the most ⁣
Is there is no one on this Earth
I could picture being a better father
Than my husband

But here we are⁣

High school sweethearts
Who married young
Had plans to start a family
Before we were “grown”
Instead, the years continue to pass
Without children of our own

This year
We both turned 30
& then this year
Our young dog suddenly became ill
We spent $15,000 trying to save her life

Thousands of dollars
We had put aside to start IVF:
Gone

This year
We’ve put our life on hold
Another year
Without children in our home