Words of Support and Encouragement Week of November 14, 2011


Good morning!  I hope that you enjoyed a relaxing weekend.  To continue our discussion on holiday support, I’d like to discuss The Script.  When you are in the early stages of trying to conceive, it can be exciting to let many of those around you in on the journey.  It can also feel incredibly supportive to know that there are many loved ones cheering you on.  However, once you receive a negative test result, telling so many people may feel like a burden.  Suddenly, you have to share your sadness with others.  You may also being to feel like there is a responsibility to them for you to conceive.
Similarly, when you are with friends and extended family  around the holidays, you will ultimately be faced with the ‘So when are you going to have a baby?’ questions.  Here, you also have to be selective in the information you give, as you may not want to create another expectation in telling your fertility story.  Here is where The Script becomes very helpful.
Before the holiday season take a few minutes to consider how much information you feel comfortable sharing with those outside of your close inner circle.  How do you want to address questions about your fertility?  How can you give a short and polite response?  How can you redirect the conversation if the person you are speaking with isn’t receptive?  If you are in a relationship, have your partner perform the same activity and then share your thoughts.  It is important for you to be on the same page, as you don’t want to share more information than your partner feels comfortable with.
Together, come up with a few ‘script’ lines that you can respond with, the conversation suddenly turns to your fertility.  These lines will help you avoid getting caught unprepared, and offering up more information than you feel comfortable with.
A few good responses with minimal information given are:
Oh, we are just giving it time!
We are letting our children come when they are ready.
If you would like to give a bit more information:
We are working with a physician on that, we will share the good news when it comes.  Thank you for asking.
Some even like to get a little fun or sarcastic with it, lightening up the tone of the conversation:
We’re just enjoying working on it!
Having a small script of responses that you are comfortable with will help you to feel more in control of the conversation.  If you would like to learn a few more holiday coping tools, please join me at the Syracuse Circle of Hope support group session tonight at 5:30p.
Until next week,