Good morning, and I hope you had a wonderful weekend! So often it can feel like our focus is only on those who have never had a child of their own. Although it may come as a surprise, about one third of our patients are suffering from secondary infertility, meaning they have already successfully conceived and delivered a child. This challenging situation can bring forth many questions and contradicting emotions. Often the couple may ask themselves what has changed? Why are ‘we’ not working anymore? Even more challenging can be the feelings of guilt, and dissatisfaction in the family that has been already created. Many couples will say that they know they should be grateful for the child they already have, but can’t help feeling as though their family is incomplete.
All of these questions and emotions are normal. Just as you felt the initial maternal/paternal instinct to begin your family, so too will you feel that instinctual pull to expand. This does not mean that you are ungrateful, greedy. Instead, it is a testament to the great love you wish to share with even more children. This feeling is a gift and should not be met with shame.
Although we cannot guarantee the outcome of your journey, I can assure you that your love will not go unshared and unfulfilled. It always has a way of finding that exact person who needs it the most.
Throughout your journey, constantly remind yourself that what you are feeling is normal, and appropriate. You are not ungrateful, or greedy, and you do not love the child you already have any less.
For more community based discussion and tools for coping with the many emotions experienced during these challenging times, I invite you to join us in our first Hopeful Again Support Group. Please find a group description and meeting information below.
Hopeful Again: A support group for those experiencing secondary infertility, or difficulty conceiving another child.
The focus of this group is to create a supportive community environment for those who have already conceived and delivered a child, but now find that conceiving is a challenge. Regardless of how many children you may already have, your family may not yet feel complete, and so you are trying again. This group is here to support and encourage you throughout your journey as well as provide specific coping mechanisms for the challenging moments. Our first meeting will be Monday, September 21, 2009 in the Syracuse CNY Fertility Reception Area at 5:30p. RSVP to Lstack@cnyfertility.com
I hope to see you there,