Posts

15
Dec

Support For the Holidays: This Week!

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winter-sunrise-in-alaskaThis week we have three support opportunities for you, to help you unwind and relax during the holiday season.  Taking a time out for yourself away from your busy day-to-day schedule can offer a wonderful opportunity for mindfulness and awareness.  When you are in the middle of the storm and hardly allowing yourself any  quiet time alone, it can be very challenging to really check-in and listen to how you are doing.  This week, we will offer three sessions for you to unplug from your commitments and schedules, and simply unwind.
Tonight, Monday, December 15th at 6:00p is our Fertility Support Teleworkshop:  Honoring Miscarriage during the Holidays.  This teleworkshop will focus on support for clients who are coping with the grief of miscarriage or pregnancy loss during the holidays.  For call information, please email Lisa:  Lstack@cnyfertility.com
Wednesday, December 17th from 7:30p-8:30p is our rescheduled Circle of Hope: Coping through the Holidays & Fertility Sock Swap.  This is a relaxed and festive evening of sharing, support, and encouragement.  This month we will be taking a more relaxed approach to our time together and share some coping strategies for the holidays.  For the Fertility Sock Swap, we ask that you bring a wrapped pair of socks to swap and share.  This is a nice opportunity to join our group for the first time, as it is a good introduction to both our center and community.  Please email Lisa to RSVP and with questions:  Lstack@cnyfertility.com
Finally, on Thursday, December 18th at 7:00p Lisa will host our Time Out:  Deep Breathing Meditation for the Holidays.  This quiet and peaceful meditation will help you take a deep breath and unwind during the busy holiday season.  To register for the session, please visit the following link: https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/157987616
Finally, did you know that we started  new Private Facebook Fertility and Pregnancy Groups for current clients?  Here, you can find a safe and secure space to share with other women and men facing similar challenges.  You can get immediate support and feedback!  If you are interested in joining, please message Lisa Stack within the Patient Portal
 
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If you are interested in a more private one-on-one support situation, Lisa Stack is our CNY Fertility Center Support Coordiator, she offers her services as a lay support person and can be contacted by email at lstack@cnyfertility.com if you are not yet a client or via the Patient Portal if you are a current client.
Request Consultation or Appointment
If you are a new patient and would like an initial fertility consultation, in-office or over the phone, please visit this link and fill out our New Appointment Form or call us toll free at 800-539-9870.

8
Dec

Choosing Healthy and Nourishing Foods During the Holidays

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apples google(1)This month, as many gather to celebrate the holidays, it is a great time to remember the importance of nourishing foods to feed both your body and spirit.  As you are celebrating over the next few weeks, keep in mind the importance of balance.  While there isn’t one perfect diet for fertility, there is a balance between allowing yourself to enjoy the special holiday meals, and providing your body with the most healthy and nourishing foods possible.  With the awareness of a few simple tips, you can enjoy your holiday meals while nurturing your fertility.
Nutrition for your fertility can be broken down into a few easy to remember guidelines, derived from Dr. Kiltz’s Fertile Secret:

  • Clean:  Try to reach for the most pure items with the fewest ingredients.  Minimize processed foods, to maximize the nutrients available to your body.  This also includes minimizing sugars and starches.
  • Fresh:  Include something fresh in every meal.  While enjoying your holiday meals, add an extra side of fruits or vegetables.
  • Clear:  Make sure that you are drinking plenty of water!

We want you to enjoy the holidays, while also feeling in control of your journey to your most fetile self.  If you are going to indulge this holiday, remembering to balance with one of the guidelines above will help you to stay on course.
This week our Circle of Hope support group sessions will meet with special Holiday Gatherings.  We also have three virtual support events remaining for the month.  For our support available this month, please be sure to check this article and our CNY Fertility calendars.
Finally, did you know that we started  new Private Facebook Fertility and Pregnancy Groups for current clients?  Here, you can find a safe and secure space to share with other women and men facing similar challenges.  You can get immediate support and feedback!  If you are interested in joining, please message Lisa Stack within the Patient Portal
 
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If you are interested in a more private one-on-one support situation, Lisa Stack is our CNY Fertility Center Support Coordiator, she offers her services as a lay support person and can be contacted by email at lstack@cnyfertility.com if you are not yet a client or via the Patient Portal if you are a current client.
Request Consultation or Appointment
If you are a new patient and would like an initial fertility consultation, in-office or over the phone, please visit this link and fill out our New Appointment Form or call us toll free at 800-539-9870.

24
Nov

Giving Thanks and Enjoying Your Loved Ones

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fall leavesThis Thursday, we are celebrating Thanksgiving here in the US.  This is a great tradition of expressing gratitude, appreciation, and love.  Even in the face of your fertility journey, spending time with those you love can provide you with happiness and motivation to keep pushing forward on this long journey to parenthood.  Dr. Kiltz suggests spending time with what you want.  He teaches us that this is a way of sending your dreams and desires out to the world around you, while opening yourself up to receive whatever beauty may come your way.  This holiday, try to open yourself up to the love and happiness within your circle of family and friends, and see what happens.
It may feel challenging to celebrate with family, as there are often children running around enjoying the day, but try to remember Dr. Kiltz’s words, and surround yourself with what you desire.  Learn from your family members with children of their own, and imprint the laughter of your younger family members as motivation to have that within your own home next year.  This is a great source of encouragement and motivation for you to access during those moments when you may feel like giving up, or that the journey is too long.
Be kind to yourself this holiday, and take plenty of time to rest.  If you would like more suggestions for having a peaceful and relaxed holiday, please be sure to read the Holiday Support Guide.
For all of our fertility support offerings this month, please check our CNY Fertility and CNY Healing Arts calendars.  Please let us know if you have any questions, and we look forward to hearing from you during these sessions!
One last note, did you know that we started  new Private Facebook Fertility and Pregnancy Groups for current clients?  We also have groups for Secondary Infertility and Pregnancy Loss. Here, you can find a safe and secure space to share with other women and men facing similar challenges.  You can get immediate support and feedback!  If you are interested in joining, please message Lisa Stack within the Patient Portal.
 
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If you are interested in a more private one-on-one support situation, Lisa Stack is our CNY Fertility Center Support Coordinator, she offers her services as a lay support person and can be contacted by email at lstack@cnyfertility.com if you are not yet a client or via the Patient Portal if you are a current client.
Request Consultation or Appointment
If you are a new patient and would like an initial fertility consultation, in-office or over the phone, please visit this link and fill out our New Appointment Form or call us toll free at 800-539-9870.
 

2
Nov

Holiday Support Guide

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Holidays can sometimes be emotionally challenging, especially when you are trying to conceive. Families often gather together to catch up, and children are typically the focus of attention (either the ones physically present, or in the form of the typical ‘So when are you going to start trying?’). It does not matter if you welcome the holiday as a celebration, or you experience more solemn emotions. They are your emotions. They are perfect, and normal. Grief is also a common emotion and process around the holidays, especially after pregnancy loss. If you would like to read more on grief, please visit Understanding the Grief Process.
The winter holidays focus on gifts of family, heritage, and faith. While this is a time of reflection and celebration, some of the traditions may cause sadness and anxiety. Exchanging gifts with children and watching them celebrate such a festive season can trigger many unexpected and unwelcome emotions. While we cannot eliminate the sadness and anxiety surrounding your fertility at this time, we can prepare and create new traditions that are more welcoming to where you are at this moment. I have gathered a few suggestions and coping tools for you to explore as you prepare for the holidays. I do suggest that you begin thinking about your holiday plans and how they might impact your emotions beforehand. It is better to plan and anticipate the holidays, than find yourself overwhelmed with challenging emotions.
1. Be your best friend: You are not required to be anywhere or do anything you are not comfortable with. You have to listen to yourself, and protect yourself. If you feel that going to your cousin’s house with 15 children running around will be too anxiety provoking, then graciously thank them for the offer but let them know you have other plans. You (and your partner, if you have one) must have a discussion before, outlining the most enjoyable and least stressful holiday scenario: Where will you celebrate? How
long will you stay?
2. Prepare your script: This does not mean you will have each conversation planned out, but come to a consensus beforehand. How will you respond to the inevitable question, ‘so when will you have children of your own?’ If you have a couple of planned responses that you feel comfortable with, it will make the conversation much more fluid and brief. When we become anxious about answering a question, it can often lead to us revealing more than we would like. If we are able to calmly deliver our planned responses, we can guide the direction of the conversation to another topic rather smoothly. If you have told your family you are trying and seeking treatment, this tool also works. They may ask ‘how are your cycles going? What is new at the doctor’s office?’ and instead of giving them a play-by-play of your last blood draws, you could have similar, planned responses.
3. Throw yourself into the holiday: What better way to focus on the positive, than to enjoy a beautiful holiday? Try cooking a special meal or decorating the house. Find a way to volunteer or give back to the community. If you are spending a quiet night with your partner, make a special meal and reconnect.
4. Create a new tradition: If being surrounded by children opening gifts is too much at this time, create a new tradition with your partner and friends. Do something more adult-oriented that is festive. This is a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with the ones you love, while also receiving a bit of extra support.
5. Recognize and honor the emotions, but celebrate with family: This may be an opportunity to use as motivation for your cycles. Try to take it all in. Take a mental image of the smiles and laughter, and when you are experiencing a challenging moment later on, remember those smiles and what it is that you are working towards. You are doing all of this so that you can have those moments, those smiles, for yourself.
Please remember it is incredibly important to protect your emotions, and if that means removing yourself from a situation that could be too challenging, then do it! We just need to get a bit creative, and open ourselves to new traditions and opportunities.
Happy Holidays,
Lisa
Lstack@cnyfertility.com
315-744-8073
 
 

14
Jun

April's Journey to Fertility: Mother's Day & Father's Day

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April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately three years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. CNY Fertility Center has locations in Syracuse, Albany and Rochester, NY.
Week 74: The Second Set of Holidays: Mother’s Day & Father’s Day
My original plan was to write about adoption this week, but then Mother’s Day came around and we were simultaneously immersed in the donor cycle (still are.) Now, Father’s Day is quickly approaching. I would like to say my family is aware of our sensitivity to these holidays, yet I still have to explain  to them the same feelings I have had for over four years now: Mother’s Day is a reminder of the fact that I am not able to conceive, that if we do conceive it will truly be a miracle, and even then, I will have to be closely monitored for months. I already know that child labor will involve a C-section because I have had previous surgery. The sacrifices that we are making right now are downright frightening; I have postponed more aggressively treating a progressive disease because that is how badly I want to be pregnant and to have a baby. Somehow though, my struggles – our struggles – become negated by my family’s expectations that their needs should be acknowledged at all costs.
When I said to my mother, “If I had a daughter who had been trying to conceive for four years, I might not have high expectations of her on mother’s day. In fact, I might tell her to do something fun for herself. I might tell her to save her money because I know so much of it is going toward various medical expenses.” Her reply was disheartening. Instead of providing the understanding and empathy a mother might instinctively offer, she reminded me that I had ignored her last Mother’s Day, that she raised me, and that she thought I should know my sister was taking her to brunch on Sunday. Of course, these comments provoked an outburst as I recalled a number of recent, hurtful actions on my parents’ part.
To make matters worse, I was at work during this phone call. I hung up in tears and went down the hall to talk to one of my friends and simply said, “If I wasn’t broken enough already, I am pretty sure I am close to falling completely apart right now.” And then I did just that. I cried for all of the expectations others have of me that I simply cannot meet because my emotional capacity is spent on trying to manage my fertility treatment and on managing my Multiple Sclerosis. I cried because my parents will never meet my expectations, and I cried because all I want is what so many others simply get: a young healthy family in which both the parents and children are healthy and happy. And I cried just because sometimes it is not your family who makes the difference when you need them, but it is your friends who see you are literally falling apart in front of them and then help you to pick up the pieces.
Although I am thankful for my friends, I am disappointed about my family’s inability to consistently express the understanding and empathy I, their daughter, need. And I am tired of acting like everything is okay when my life clearly has emptiness and pain. The last four years have been a struggle on many, many counts. Since my emotional capacity is limited, I know I need to acknowledge when too much is simply too much. Therefore, if I need to sit out one holiday or all of the holidays in order to maintain my mental stability, then so be it. And if my family is not able to understand my needs, then that truly is their issue. I plan to spend Sunday with my husband, who is my number one supporter and who will make an exceptional father – hopefully soon!
In acknowledgement of my true feelings,
April all Year

15
Dec

April's Journey to Fertility: Week Twenty Nine

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Fertility SymbolApril is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two and a half years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
Week 29: The Holidays
I do not know about many of you, but I cannot believe another Christmas is going by in which I am not pregnant or at least able to announce a pregnancy. At this point, the whole ordeal is getting to be a bit repetitive – really! This is the third holiday season in which we have had to deal with fertility challenges, and I am sure many of you can relate to that feeling of disappointment as you watch children wait in line to visit Santa or you hear talk of co-workers taking their children to holiday related events.
Although the entire season can be overwhelming, the season can be joyful as well. Personally, I want to focus on the joy and magic of this season so I do not miss any opportunities to create memories. Regardless of your religious affiliation, this season truly is beautiful. The first snowfall is always a bit enchanting, and the well lit homes and neighborhoods are beautiful. There is so much to experience, even if we do not yet have our own children.
Whether you are a parent or not, you and your spouse are a family so enjoy spending time with each other. I would encourage you to do the most you can to make this the best holiday season yet for you and your husband because you are already a family.
My husband and I have put together a list of activities we like to do together during this season. Read more