Speaking Clearly: Communicating with Your Partner


CNY Fertility Center is much more than a fertility clinic. We feel a certain responsibility to assist our clients on their entire journey, not just the medical treatment aspect of infertility. In the past couple of weeks we’ve taken some time to focus on Communicating with Your Partner. Previously we shared some information and tips on listening effectively while communicating with your partner. Now it’s time to focus on the speaking aspect of those communications. Below are just a few suggestions and tips for making your conversations with your partner (and anyone else for that matter) more clear and concise. We spend a good portion of time conveying to others what our thoughts and feelings are at any given moment. Spending a little time honing our listening and speaking skills is a worthy effort. Click here to read the Listening article.
Speak slower. You have no idea how helpful it is to give your words an extra second or two to fully come out of your mouth. Pausing also works, because pausing allows the person you’re speaking to an extra moment or two to digest all of the words you’ve just said. This specific tool may take some time to incorporate. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find it challenging to accomplish this, just keep at it.
Think before you speak. This one sounds simple but many of us go through life with no filter on when we are talking to others and we communicate much of what comes into our minds almost immediately. This isn’t always a good thing. So, with the above tip of “speaking slower” you may find that “thinking before you speak” comes almost naturally. This is a good thing and allows the opportunity to consider the person who will receive our words and the best way in which to convey them.
Practice before you speak. Silently say the words to yourself to be sure they are going to come out the way you want. Again, this one seems to go hand-in-hand with the above two. It can be very useful to practice with yourself what you are about to say. It takes only an instant and you may find that your words can be reworked a bit to ensure a more clear reception from the listener.
Challenges to be aware of for the Speaker:

  • Your voice volume may be too low to be heard.
  • Take care not to make the message you are conveying too complex, either by including too many unnecessary details or too many issues.
  • Don’t get lost, forget your point or the purpose of the interaction.
  • Body language or nonverbal elements can contradict or interfere with the verbal message, such as smiling when anger or hurt is being expressed.
  • Be mindful of paying too much attention to how the other person is taking the message, or how the person might react.

This article has only touched upon the speaking aspect of communicating with your partner. If you feel that you are having challenges communicating and don’t feel that you are making any progress please consider contacting a counselor or therapist. A trained, third party can often times greatly assist you both in communicating clearer.


Patience is the Key: Communicating with Your Partner


Communicating with your partner effectively is something you work at from a listening standpoint as well as a speaking one. While undergoing infertility treatments and working on the goal of expanding your family this becomes even more important, and possibly more challenging at the same time.

“We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking.”

Patience is the key! Expressing your wants, feelings and thoughts clearly to your partner is only half of the communication process. The other half is listening and understanding what your partner is communicating to you. Now that’s where your patience can be most useful.

When we communicate with another person, we do so to fulfill a need.  We may want something, feel discomfort, or have feelings or thoughts about something that we need to share. When we speak we use a method or code that we believe will effectively deliver the message to the other person. This code can be either verbal or nonverbal or likely a combination of both. When our partner receives the coded message, they go through the process of decoding or interpreting it into understanding and meaning.

The true gift, and often a challenge to accomplish, of effective communication between two people is when the receiver interprets and understands the sender’s message in the same way the sender intended it.

As a listener during any conversation with your partner try to be aware of the basic challenges that exist for the listening part of communications and work on not doing them so you can decode your partners message more easily. This will make for better conversations between you and your loved one and may even lead to a deeper understanding of one another.

Challenges to be Aware of for the Listener:

  • · Being preoccupied and not listening to your partner.
  • · Being so interested in what you have to say that you listen mainly for your turn to speak.
  • · Formulating your reply to what your partner is saying while listening to him/her.
  • · Evaluating and making judgments about your partner and/or what they are saying while you are listening to them.
  • · Not asking for clarification of what was said when you know that you don’t understand.

This article only touches on a few things, with a focus on the listening part of communications. In future articles we will share information on how to speak to your partner more effectively. Keep checking back to our website for more tips and food for thought on communicating with your partner.


Communication During a Donor Cycle


Our CNY Fertility Center Donor Coordinators are proud of their open communication with our clients.  Unique and innovative, our coordinators offer you complete access by staying constantly connected via phone and email.  We understand how important each cycle is, and so we want to make sure that you feel completely secure and happy with your progress.
Transparency and honesty are critical for a happy and successful cycle, especially when there are multiple parties involved.  You may be wondering when your donor will begin her medications, how she is feeling about the process, and when she will be ready for retrieval.  This is in addition to monitoring your own medications and progress.   As you can see, there are many facets to a donor cycle, and we want you to be in the loop every step of the way.
If at any moment you have a question about your cycle, please don’t hesitate to contact one of our coordinators.  They would be happy to answer any questions you may have, and make sure that you completely understand your cycle plan.  Their job is to make sure your cycle progresses smoothly, and they love what they do!
You may contact the Donor Team by calling 800.539.9870 (toll free)
Or via email:
Pati Breh:
Stephanie Rogers:
Kari Gardner:

We look forward to hearing from you, and creating the family you have always wanted.
Our donation team would be happy to further explain the cycles available to you, or answer any other questions you may have.  Please visit our website for more information: