CNY Fertility Center is much more than a fertility clinic. We feel a certain responsibility to assist our clients on their entire journey, not just the medical treatment aspect of infertility. In the past couple of weeks we’ve taken some time to focus on Communicating with Your Partner. Previously we shared some information and tips on listening effectively while communicating with your partner. Now it’s time to focus on the speaking aspect of those communications. Below are just a few suggestions and tips for making your conversations with your partner (and anyone else for that matter) more clear and concise. We spend a good portion of time conveying to others what our thoughts and feelings are at any given moment. Spending a little time honing our listening and speaking skills is a worthy effort. Click here to read the Listening article.
Speak slower. You have no idea how helpful it is to give your words an extra second or two to fully come out of your mouth. Pausing also works, because pausing allows the person you’re speaking to an extra moment or two to digest all of the words you’ve just said. This specific tool may take some time to incorporate. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find it challenging to accomplish this, just keep at it.
Think before you speak. This one sounds simple but many of us go through life with no filter on when we are talking to others and we communicate much of what comes into our minds almost immediately. This isn’t always a good thing. So, with the above tip of “speaking slower” you may find that “thinking before you speak” comes almost naturally. This is a good thing and allows the opportunity to consider the person who will receive our words and the best way in which to convey them.
Practice before you speak. Silently say the words to yourself to be sure they are going to come out the way you want. Again, this one seems to go hand-in-hand with the above two. It can be very useful to practice with yourself what you are about to say. It takes only an instant and you may find that your words can be reworked a bit to ensure a more clear reception from the listener.
Challenges to be aware of for the Speaker:
- Your voice volume may be too low to be heard.
- Take care not to make the message you are conveying too complex, either by including too many unnecessary details or too many issues.
- Don’t get lost, forget your point or the purpose of the interaction.
- Body language or nonverbal elements can contradict or interfere with the verbal message, such as smiling when anger or hurt is being expressed.
- Be mindful of paying too much attention to how the other person is taking the message, or how the person might react.
This article has only touched upon the speaking aspect of communicating with your partner. If you feel that you are having challenges communicating and don’t feel that you are making any progress please consider contacting a counselor or therapist. A trained, third party can often times greatly assist you both in communicating clearer.