My son was about a year when we decided to try.   My husband and I had known that we had wanted two children in our family.  My first pregnancy was so quick and easy.  It never even occurred to us that we might have some difficulty.  He is going to be three, so about two years now we have been on this journey of loss and trying to figure out what’s going on.  I suffer from secondary infertility due to recurrent miscarriage.  However, I don’t have a diagnosis as to why I continue to miscarry.  I have had lots of different testing done, blood work and procedures, some minor surgeries and everything.  I currently go to CNY Healing Arts for acupuncture.  I just recently started Reiki.  I started coming here last December after my most recent loss.  I was in a really bad place, just kind of feeling lost.  A friend had recommended it.  At that point, I was like, “Absolutely.  Let’s see what I can do and how this will make me feel.”  With regards to the physical aspect, acupuncture has helped with regulating my periods, and helping with headaches and any real physical ailments that I may have been feeling.  In regards to the emotional piece, she focuses on my anxiety.  To be honest, just having somebody to talk to—she’s like my mini-therapist; I just love coming here!  I feel like I’m in a much better place.  Obviously, time has gone by which definitely helps.  I feel like I’m in a much better place because of the support that I get here.  I have had four losses.  Each time, it obviously got much worse.  As I said, the last one I was not in a very good place.  That was very difficult for me.  I do see an outside therapist so I do go to counseling, which is helpful.  I come here all the time!  The acupuncture itself has helped.  As I said, I just started with the Reiki, and that has helped.{{vspace8}}

On Reiki: {{vspace8}}

I was not sure what to expect.  I was given information to read, and I had read through it all.  I was kind of like, “I don’t really sure what this is going to do for me.”  She is wonderful and everybody here is wonderful.  She talked me through it and again, it was like a mini-counseling session.  When I left, I felt so calm and at peace.  I just said to her the next time—I think I came two days later again—I just wanted that feeling to last.  It was such an amazing feeling to just feel so at peace, so to speak.  It was wonderful.  I have done that a handful of times.  I actually am coming again Saturday, so I’m excited!{{vspace8}}

Insight from the Journey: {{vspace8}}

I learned that it’s better to have an open mind.  It took me going through all the loss and everything that I had to try new things and see that there are other options out there.  I don’t know if I’m making sense; but just to have an open mind about things.  I don’t know that before I came here what my real thought about acupuncture, or even Reiki was until I tried it.  I think this is probably the case with anything; but the people you go to make the difference.  I’ve learned that I need to be more open-minded.  I also learned that—both Heather and Erin work on this with me—I tend to be the person who likes to look at a full calendar and know what I’m doing for the month and have it all planned out.  I need to live my life today.  So, every day, I wake up and say today’s the day is Thursday, August 25th or whatever the day is and this is where I’m at.  That actually has been really helpful for me and my personality.  I needed to hear that more than once.  I have learned those couple of things, and I’m sure more things.  The last is definitely is something that I have struggled with in that it’s not always a healthy way to live your life to always have to plan everything.  So this is living in the day and in the moment is definitely a better way to live. {{vspace8}}

One of the things that I really struggle with is the fact that I had such (I call it) luck or whatever with my first pregnancy and I have such a beautiful little boy.  To not understand or to have no medical reason why now we’re not able to add to our family; that’s definitely challenging.  With each loss, I got further along in my pregnancy; so to have that much more hope that here we are this far and to have it right there in your grasp, and to have it pulled away again, that’s really challenging. {{vspace8}}

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss, and probably infertility in general is a very isolating experience.  It has been difficult with my husband and I with regards to all we’re thinking and feeling and really feeling like nobody gets it, so that’s been challenging for us as well.  Lots of different things have been challenging over the past couple of years.  I need to give myself hope, I need to give myself the opportunity to hope, which is scary and hard to do when you’ve been through various things.  I know it probably sounds silly but Heather and Erin give me hope.  Every week they are here talking to me.  They’re not giving me promises or anything; they can’t, but they are my support system.  My family is my support system as well.  I guess if I was just beginning—and I don’t know how you would find this person or whatever, but just other than conversation or luck or whatever but I wish—four losses was a lot—I wish that I had found this before that.  I even feel like even if I experienced a loss while working with the people here, that it would have been easier.  Just knowing that there are supports out there for you.  I know for myself that everybody’s story is different and you don’t want to necessarily want to talk about your experiences and how difficult it’s been or whatever.  Sometimes that is what you need, knowing that you’re not alone.  As I said before, infertility, in general can be very isolating.  Just knowing that there are other people out there who may not have similar stories, but have felt the ups and downs, and stuff like that.  To just seek that out and not have to deal with it on your own if at all possible.  {{vspace8}}