Secondary Infertility: Is it Affecting You?

Secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant or to carry a full-term pregnancy after previously having had one or more children without trouble. This means that you did not use any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications when conceiving your existing child or children.
Secondary infertility requires a unique method of support, separate from general infertility support. Emotions associated with the experience of secondary infertility often include a mix of:

  • Anger
  • Guilt
  • Worry
  • Depression
  • Loss
  • Grief
  • Confusion
  • Isolation
  • Jealousy
  • Powerlessness
  • Self-blame

Many parents feel guilty for wanting another child so badly, especially if they already have more than one child. This guilt is entirely misplaced. You can absolutely love your existing child or children, but still yearn for more kids – it doesn’t have to be one or the other.
Unfortunately, couples with secondary infertility tend to receive less support from friends, family and even doctors than couples who were never able to conceive. This often happens because couples who already have one or more children do not have a visible loss to explain their grief, whereas couples who have no children are clearly lacking the family they wish for.
Because of this common disparity, couples often need help from professionals and/or support groups when coping with secondary infertility. We at CNY Fertility know how difficult it is to deal with what could have been and what actually is, which is why we encourage you to seek support throughout your struggles. Lisa Stack, Support Coordinator at CNY Fertility Centers, is available to assist you in any way that you may need. Please feel free to contact her (information below) and work through your unique situation.
Lisa Stack