Contributed by Bridget
Can this positive thinking thing really be all it’s cracked up to be? This was my opinion on positive thinking before my life changed. I had been a relatively positive person and always outwardly displayed positive actions however what was going on inside my own head was entirely different. My thoughts constantly focused on my fears and on the things that were missing from my life and how badly I wanted them. I wanted more than anything to have children but life just kept throwing curve balls that thwarted my dreams.
Along my spiritual journey someone told me “God wouldn’t put such a strong desire in your heart and then not make it happen”. That statement changed the way I began to think about everything. I also began to realize that there was more than one way for my desires to be filled. I began to know without a doubt that one day I would have a family. I continued to set my life up for the family I would one day have and other than that I just believed. Believed; resolutely, firmly and without hesitation.
The most important part of this decision was that I stopped being a victim. I stopped being the poor, sad woman that couldn’t meet the right man, then couldn’t get pregnant and on and on. I believed that my God was way more creative than I ever was and that I would one day have a family someway, somehow. I can’t say enough about how this type of thinking applied to every aspect of my life and began to change everything for me. I knew whether through adoption, medical science or some other process I couldn’t even think up I would be a mother.
When we finally decided to go to CNY Fertility my doctor’s office said it would be months before we could get in. They had me call to set a specific appointment and I was shocked when the woman on the phone said there had been a cancellation and we could be seen in 3 days. I couldn’t contain my excitement. Throughout the entire process of retrieval and implantation I just kept picturing the baby attaching inside of me and growing and I didn’t ever allow fear to take hold. The moment a negative or fearful thought entered my mind, I pushed it away and replaced it with an affirmation. I was open to whatever my higher power had in store and believed no matter what I would be a mother. The whole process from that point forward seemed divinely driven and within 28 days of that first phone call, I was pregnant.
Now might be the time that some would say, “lucky you, it didn’t happen for me that easily” or “it never happened for me”. I know those thoughts because that used to be mine. Instead try something like, “Wow, the angel God wants me to raise must be waiting to be adopted”. Don’t let the negative thoughts come in, push them away and just believe. I often hear people say, “well, don’t get your hopes up”, I’m here to say “get your hopes up, get them way up”; just don’t get set on how your hopes will be filled. Not getting your hopes up is just fear finding another way in.
Our beautiful daughter was born 38 weeks later and is truly one of the many angels that God placed in our lives. I now see that I am surrounded by angels, the doctors and staff at CNY Fertility, my ob/gyn, my husband, my family, and the person I bump into at the gas station. If you wonder if I believe in the power of positive thinking I say, “Positively”. I know something else deep in my heart; God wants me to have another child… I better go talk to my husband!