Patience vs. Impatience


Kristen Magnacca, author of Love & Infertility“I wonder if we might pledge ourselves to remember what life is really all about-not to be afraid that we’re less flashy than the next, not to worry that our influence is not that of a tornado, but rather that of a grain of sand in an oyster! Do we have that kind of patience?” ~Fred Rogers
Did you know that it takes two to three years for a grain of sand in an oyster to be covered with a thin layer of nacre, the substance that makes a pearl and five to seven years to make a bigger and more valuable pearl?
When my husband and I hit the three-year mark on our journey to create our family, man oh man, looking back I was out of my mind with impatience.
Impatiently, I waited for orders during a treatment cycle, my mantra in my head held an impatient tone, including the internal dialogue with the child I wanted!
“Why wouldn’t he/she just come?”
“Why don’t they just call already with my orders?”
“Why doesn’t Mark just get what I’m feeling?”

These are just a few of the impatient comments or questions that I would sometime mutter out-loud and quietly in my head! I never really thought of myself as an impatient person, being a preschool teacher and running a school for fifty-one children a day for ten years patience was a mandatory virtue. But, it seemed that when fertility doubt and fear crept in my ability to be present in a moment flew out the window and impatience blew in.
What I know now for sure is shifting and releasing is the only way.  Creating a practice that helps you to stay connected to the inner peace and certainty can override the impulse of impatience.  Like Fred Roger mentions in the above quote I was trying to use my influence like a tornado instead of holding onto the moment… being in the moment, releasing the past and holding a vision of the future.
Perhaps you’re thinking; “What is she crazy, I don’t want to hold onto any part of this journey as a memory” and when I was knee deep I didn’t want to either!  I wanted it to be over and living the life “I wanted NOW!”. Looking back, our fertility journey pushed me to look at myself and smooth out the rough edges so that when my family was created they benefited from the “work” I did during this time.
So, be the oyster!  Knowing that you are doing all that you need to be doing and have the certainty that there is a pearl in the making.
Kristen Magnacca
Kristen Magnacca Website
Her Pearls of Wisdom Blog