Most of us grow up, live through our twenties and into our thirties believing that when we want to start a family, we will be ready and able. However, many so tragically come to the unimaginable disappointment and pain that comes when they hit that unexpected road block in creating or adding to their family.
People who are trying to have children are usually at a great place in their lives. Often, they are in the middle of successful careers, deeply in love, and have found a nice comforting rhythm in their life and with their partner. People are excited. Life is going great, and they’re ready to take the next step into parenthood or have another child. Now that they are trying to conceive, most people assume that it will be easy.
Often however, this is not the case. It is a terrible blow to people when suddenly, they aren’t conceiving. Here at CNY Fertility, we try our very best to help those experiencing this unfortunate struggle. We know just how difficult and painful of a situation this is. We see men and women who feel as though they are broken, that they are somehow less human, less feminine, or less masculine because they are having trouble conceiving. People often fear that their partner may even leave them if they are not able to conceive. It’s a tragic reality, but something we are ready to help you through.
One of the most important distinctions that must be understood by those going through fertility issues, and really everyone, is the misleading nature of the English language. In the English language, we tend to attribute feelings to identity. What I mean is, we say, “I am hungry,” “I am happy,” “I am infertile.” The truth is that, you are not hungry, you are a person with a complex range of states and being. You are not infertile, you are experiencing infertility. Many languages make this distinction, English does not. In Spanish for instance, you say “tengo hambre,” or “I have hunger.” Tengo, I have. Not estoy, I am.
This is one of the most important distinctions in dealing with fertility issues. Remember, you are NOT infertile. You are EXPERIENCING infertility. I understand this doesn’t cure your experience, but it can help with the pain you are feeling. You are a beautiful, loving, and amazing human. You are fertile gods and goddesses. You are experiencing infertility.
Fortunately, because most are not truly infertile, there are things we here at CNY Fertility can do to help navigate you through your experience of infertility into the fertile grounds.