Coping with Jealousy While Trying to Conceive


For some, the path to parenthood can feel long, and unfairly challenging. If you are experiencing infertility, you may have felt jealous of a pregnant family member, friend, or stranger.  Many of our clients have voiced these feelings, and we often discuss them at length during our monthly Circle of Hope Support Group sessions.  While of course you want to be pregnant, and find it unfair that some can conceive so easily.  It is natural to feel that way because they are experiencing something that you want so deeply.  In the moment, it may be challenging to work through those feelings of hurt and jealousy.  However, I have a few thoughts that I’d like to share with you, to help you through your next experience:
1.  You don’t know her story.  The glowing woman in the grocery store with a hand resting lovingly on her belly may have faced incredible challenges to conceive her baby.  This does not mean that you don’t deserve your child as well, but it may help to remember that we don’t know everyone’s story.  Her child may be welcomed after multiple cycles and losses, when she once felt the very same way you do right now.
2.  Her child is not yours.  While the woman in the grocery store may have a beautiful healthy baby in just a few months, it is not yours. Your child is unique to you.  She is far more beautiful than any child you have ever seen.  She gives sweeter kisses than any child you have ever held, and she smells far more delicious.  She even has a birthday, her own birthday, that she will decide in her own time.
Remember that you are strong enough for this journey, and we are here to help you along the way.  If you would like to talk about these emotions more, please join us at the Circle of Hope Support Group sessions:
Syracuse:  Monday, November 14th 5:30p-7p
Albany:  Tuesday, December 13th 5:30p-7p
Rochester:  Wednesday, November 16th 5:30p-7p
I hope that you are able to join us at one of these session!