We had a wonderful Support Group session this past week at the CNY Fertility Center Syracuse office. Dr. Rob Kiltz gave a very inspirational talk touching on various subjects such has happiness, protecting ourselves from negative media, and embracing change. We all have the capacity for happiness. We have to place ourselves in situations that facilitate happiness. We have to protect ourselves from negative media and situations because although we may not notice it, they are absorbed, and they do influence our happiness. To begin this life of happiness Dr. Rob suggests that instead of turning on the evening news, we read a book off of his suggested reading list, or spend time doing something positive that we enjoy.
With this sense of happiness we will be more open and willing to change. Change is natural and is something we cannot control or prevent. Often times we resist change because we are afraid of what is to come. By seeking happiness and accepting that change is natural, we can better prepare ourselves to positively deal with various situations as they arise.
Some of the books Dr. Rob suggests we read to help us embrace a happy and full life are as follows and to read his full suggested reading list click here:
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Thoughts are Things by Prentice Mulford
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
The support groups at all three locations will be focusing on the book, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert during the next meeting, June 16, 2009. We will also continue to share personal experiences, questions, and concerns regarding the fertility journey.
During our last discussion we once again touched on the common, but difficult question of whether or not to tell family, friends, and coworkers about your journey trying to conceive. We had some great insight from clients who have been with us for a bit of time, as well as from our new additions to the group! Although it can seem like an impossible discussion to have, it seems that the general consensus has been to tell those you are close with. You do not have to get into specifics, and a simple ‘We have been trying to have a baby, and it has been difficult’ can be all you need. The reason some couples have found it beneficial to make others aware is to protect their happiness and make difficult situations a little easier to bear. A good example of this is if a sibling finds out they are pregnant, and your family is aware, they can be sensitive to your situation and recognize that this could be a difficult time for you. This allows you to be happy for your sibling, without pretending that it does not cause some pain for you at the same time.
That being said, we do have some couples that have not told family and friends of their situation. They feel it is personal and is best to not worry them, or feel it is too private to share. Unfortunately we cannot tell you which option will be best for you. This has to be your decision, and please know that whatever you choose is OK and will be right for you as long as you trust your instincts. Also, remember that if you initially decide not to tell, you are not bound to that decision, just as if you do tell, you do not have to share each detail from every appointment.
It is most important to remember to trust yourself, and remember the message boards that can be accessed via www.cnyhealingarts.com can be very helpful. There you can bounce ideas off of each other and get some advise from women in similar situations.
Please feel free to contact me if there is any support I am able to offer you in the mean time.