April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
Week Twenty Two: The Voice from Within
Some weeks are better than others, and last week was not one of my better ones. My new cycle began four days early and someone at work asked me if I was expecting (which I can’t believe anyone does – ever!). Clearly, my IUI was not a success, which is incredibly disappointing. Actually, a failed cycle is heart wrenching, and I have had my fill of negative pregnancy tests. My bet is that you have had your fill as well. However, we must keep moving forward because we haven’t achieved our goal yet.
When I met with Dr. Cain during my baseline ultrasound, I received the proper dose of encouragement. She said that there was no reason to believe I would be an outlying factor and not become pregnant and reminded me that the majority of women undergoing fertility treatment DO become pregnant. Of course, the challenge is that none of us knows when a pregnancy will be achieved. After we had our discussion, Dr. Cain asked me if I wanted Dr. Kiltz to come in to give me a pep talk. I told her that was not necessary because she had done a great job of making me feel better herself. Although I have to admit, there was one other reason I did not need Dr. Kiltz to come in to brighten my spirits: I know that no matter how many doctors, friends, or family members tell me they believe I will become pregnant, I need to believe it. I know this because that little voice from within reminds me that I need to believe in myself and in miracles. I need to remember that I am going to be a mother and that when I have my pivotal moment, the one where I hold my baby in my arms, none of this will matter.
I just need to truly believe…
My intention for all who are pursuing the dream of motherhood is simple: believe. For me, believing is not being afraid of a negative pregnancy test or a failed IUI or IVF cycle, it is not worrying that I will never become a mother, and it is not wishing I was someone who I am not (a fertile twenty something with no chronic illness). Instead, believing is about appreciating my journey to motherhood and knowing that one day I will reach my destination. Let’s all choose to believe instead of fear!
April all Year
Below are links to April’s past articles in case you missed any of them: