April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
Week Six: Bahama Mama
As I was recently ordering lunch at a local coffee shop, another teacher noticed that there was a bag of Bahama Mama coffee next to me and asked if it was mine. She initially thought I was buying it and wondered how it tasted. When I told her it was not mine, she looked at me for a quick second and excitedly declared, “Bahama Mama – you’re going to be a MAMA. It’s a sign!” Her excitement immediately spread to me, and I began to believe that Bahama Mama was a sign. Of course, this excitement soon transformed into my familiar internal conflict; Yes, I am going to be a mama, but what if…. My list of what ifs is terribly long and downright dismal, but I have been diligently trying to change my negative thought patterns. However, I have to admit that consistently replacing negative thoughts with positive ones requires vigilant commitment and immense effort.
I know that as future mamas-to-be, we consistently hear the so-called encouraging phrase, it will happen. Our friends and family tell us to just relax and not think about it or share stories of those women who adopt and then surprisingly conceive. It always amazes me how easily those who have children, or who have no interest in having children, are quick to dismiss my terribly real fear that I may not have children. However, my Bahama Mama experience has given me a different perspective on the entire thought process relating to when and how I will become a mother. Simply stated, if others believe it will happen, why don’t I, especially since I know numerous stories of couples who try (and try, and try) for so long and do eventually achieve pregnancy?
Stories of couples who persevere and do conceive nurture my spirit and provide motivation for me to persist. My intention for you this week, is to remember such a story. If you are sure you have not heard a successful fertility story, please do some research (friends, valid websites, etc.) until you learn of a story that can serve as personal encouragement. If you feel comfortable enough to share such a story, please do so in the comment section.
Let me begin with one of my favorite fertility stories.
An acquaintance of mine went through a multitude of assisted cycles, including one IVF cycle in which fertilization did not take place. Afterward, the doctor explained that she and her husband were “incompatible.” They were encouraged to look into other options including donor egg possibilities and adoption. Three months later the couple naturally conceived. Although this alone would have been complete joy for the couple, they were even more ecstatic when they learned the mother was carrying twins!
Again, please feel free to inspire each other by sharing any encouraging fertility stories.
April all Year
Below are links to April’s past articles in case you missed any of them: