April's journey to fertility: Week one


Fertility SymbolApril is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
My Story:
Patience has never been one of my virtues, but rather a skill I have been learning and re-learning over the years. In my journey to becoming a mother, I have had to readjust my initial plans. Fellow mothers-to-be, I decided that in April of 2007 we would begin trying to conceive so I would have my baby sometime in the spring of 2008. Then I would be able to take the rest of the school year off. (By the way, I am a high school English teacher.) In my head, the plan was perfect. Then the universe, or in my case, God, decided that I still had a few lessons to learn. In June of 2007, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
There were two questions I had for the doctor when he told me I had MS. 1.) Was I going to die early? and 2.) was I going to be able to have children? Here I was, being diagnosed with what can be a disabling and debilitating disease, and the second question out of my mouth was if I could still have children. (The neurologist happily informed me I was not going to die early and that I could safely conceive children.) Oh, friends, once we yearn for a baby there is little else that we are able to consider. In telling you about my initial reactions to my MS diagnosis, I simply want to let you know, that I get it – the feeling that maybe I am not meant to be a mother (what a sad thought), that choked up emotion that surfaces when I hear yet another one of my colleagues is pregnant, the tears that well when I begin another cycle. I have been trying to conceive for a bit over two years and my journey has been a challenging, frightening, and enlightening experience.
Before I finish this week’s blog, I have an intention for you. Is there anything you can do to embrace motherhood –not simply your motherhood, but motherhood in general? For example, I helped my best friend throw a baby shower yesterday. When I was telling my mom, she said that must have been hard for me; but for the first time in approximately two years, attending someone else’s baby shower was not an anxiety inducing event. I did not have to lock myself in the bathroom for any moments of escape nor did I have to give myself a pep talk before the event. Instead, I asked the mother-to-be to rub up against me as many times as she could before she left in hopes that her fertile hormones would rub off on my nearly fertile hormones. I sat with a table full of mothers who were discussing their childbirth stories and did not flinch when another woman asked me if I had any kids. Nor did I begin to tell her all about my fertility woes. A year ago, my response to this question would have been a 20 minute life story synopsis. Instead, I just moved on and focused on their stories because, ladies, one day it is going to be me in that birthing room. How did I get to the point where I am able to embrace others’ fertility? That is a topic for next week. I hope you will continue to follow my story!
Envision the outcome and embrace all motherhood. We will be mothers!
Baby Dust Blessings,
April all Year

9 replies
  1. Chris
    Chris says:

    I was very touched by your story, and cannot wait to hear more. I am a nurse in the Latham office, and although we see our clients sometimes daily, we don’t always get the chance to really know them. Thank you for opening your world to us.

  2. Stephanie
    Stephanie says:

    Thank you April for sharing your story. My husband and I have been tryig for about as long without success. I’m the person avoiding baby showers and giving 20 minute speaches…I’m trying to turn it around. I think your words of inspiration will help so many people going through the same experiences.

  3. Dawn
    Dawn says:

    You are truly a brave and optimist mother-to-be. I had no clue about the MS diagnosis and meeting you know else would either. You are great at conveying the feelings many of us on this journey feel. Your blog made me smile. Thank you.

  4. Ebony
    Ebony says:

    Thank you for sharing you story.It is nice to know that I’m not the only one that felt the same about baby showers. This weekend I went to my first baby shower in 8 years with the help of a loving spouse and knowing I’m not alone

  5. April
    April says:

    Ladies, I am so happy you feel inspired to share some of your own personal feelings. I appreciate your candor, and I am incredibly thankful for your responses. If there are any topics I might be able to address in upcoming blogs, please let me know through your comments. I have gone through many western fertility treatments and procedures and am now focusing on acupuncture, massage, yoga and herbal treatments to balance my body and establish fertility. My week two blog should be posted by next Tuesday.
    Baby Dust Blessings!

  6. Gina Avery
    Gina Avery says:

    I cant wait to continue your story. I conceived in 2009 on my 3rd ivf try with CNY. It was a very emotional journey but so worth it. I am about to go through the journey again. You are so right that when you yearn for a child you cant think of anything else. Now my daughter wants a sibling, everyone and every friend is pregnant. The movies i watch someones pregnant. Everyone around me it seems is pregnant or talking about pregnancy. I want to b pregnant again too. so i am starting to read your story now in hopes that i will learn something from you, something i dont know allready. Its starting out to be a beautiful story i cant wait.

Comments are closed.