April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. Week Eight: Resiliency
According to Webster’s online dictionary, the definition of resiliency is the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Lately, I feel as though I have lost a bit of my resiliency. However, I do not lack the ability to adjust to change, but I do lack the ability to adjust to the misfortune of not yet conceiving. In fact, I would not call my struggle with fertility misfortunate; I would call it downright unfair and heart-wrenching. I cannot tell you how deeply saddened I was this weekend when I attended a party with many other couples my age who all either had children or were expecting a child within the next several weeks. I remember watching the children interact with their parents and feeling excluded, not because anyone was ignoring me but because everyone was a part of something I was not: parenthood. At one point I was even choking back tears.
I may be more emotional than usual because I began a new cycle last week. One of the most difficult challenges for me is the fact that no matter how I picture my positive pregnancy test experience, it just does not happen. I could explain to you the myriad of scenarios I have created in my head regarding when I will become pregnant, (right after my laparoscopy, right before my HSG, after my first round of hormone treatments and IUI, right before my next fertility specialist appointment, etc.). Instead, I have to simply wait and try to be patient. Thus, the question becomes how will I maintain my resiliency when I am disappointed and saddened? How do any of us maintain resiliency when we are on our journey to fertility?
We actually discussed this at last week’s Yoga for Fertility Class. (Yes, my negative attitude may have prompted the discussion!) For me, “bouncing back” is a matter of finding what will make me happy, even if only temporarily. My list of possibilities includes the following:
Listening to upbeat music
Getting a pedicure
Having a glass of wine
Having a cup of coffee
Going to Yoga
Watching a sad movie because sometimes crying does make me feel better
Watching a funny movie because sometimes I need to laugh
Talking to someone else who is either experiencing the same challenge or has experienced it
Doing something fun and different (new restaurant, couples yoga class)
Writing the day’s gratitude list because I may not be a parent yet, but there are many other prosperous areas in my life
This upcoming week, my intention is for you to consider what should be in your “bag of tricks” so that when you do become upset or overwhelmed, you have a list of possible distractions/activities that can serve as your personal pick-me-ups.
Miracles & Blessings, April all Year