April's Journey to Fertility: The Egg Donor Option


April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately three years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. CNY Fertility Center has locations in Syracuse, Albany and Rochester, NY.
Week 71: The Egg Donor Option
Before any woman can fully examine the egg donor possibility she must examine her feelings about this emotional process. Throughout this process, I have associated the following thoughts with the egg donor option:

  • Women helping women
  • Fortunate
  • Sadness over my child not having a biological link to me
  • Moving forward
  • Creation
  • Opportunities
  • Options
  • Grateful
  • Excitement
  • Hope
  • Anticipation

What I like most about this option is that egg donors exemplify the beauty of women helping women. Upon reviewing many donor profiles, my husband and I noticed that numerous donors are already mothers who want to pass on the gift of motherhood to women who need an egg donor to make that dream a reality. Others are not mothers but know of women who have struggled on their journey to motherhood and simply want to help others create life. When I think of the fact that women did not even have such an option one generation ago, I feel hopeful and excited that I do have this opportunity. I am truly grateful to the women who give up their time, their bodies and their oocytes so that I may have a son or daughter. I feel as though I can move forward because someone else sees the value in my innate desire to mother even though she does not know me.
There are, however, some feelings of sadness that juxtapose the hopeful feelings. For example, the idea that there will never be a “little April” running around the house still makes me tear up for a quick moment, but then I remember the other part of the egg donor option. There will be a “little April” running around the house because she will have my feisty personality and my sassy spirit. My son or daughter may not have my facial features, but she or he will certainly have my facial expressions. My child will find a love for all things Italian and Portuguese because I will teach her the value of her ancestry. I will teach my baby how to be strong and happy because his mother will be an example of strength and joy. And, of course, my baby will have my tenacity because I will teach my child that persistence really does pay off and will remind my baby that he or she is proof of that! The characteristics that will make my baby mine do not come from blood or genes, but from love and nurturing.
My sincere hope is you remember that motherhood is about much, much more than DNA.
With anticipation,
April all Year


2 replies
  1. Janet
    Janet says:

    I can completely relate! I went through 3 years with nothing working no mater what we tried when my doctor’s nurse mentioned using a donor. First I thought OH MY GOD THERE IS HOPE! Then I went to a dark place since in Canada we do not have donors unless you personally know the donor and that is a very hard thing to both face when you think you have hope and then start the process of wondering how you would even begin to ask someone to go through that procedure.
    When I thought there really was no hope (again) left my clinic mentioned Dr. Kiltz and there was hope again (what a roller coster ride). The first donor round worked (I was carrying twins) but the pregnancy didn’t work out. I then went through another 5 rounds between frozen and another donor. I knew it could work and was determined. Then it happened and on November 28th, 2007 I went through another “fresh” round and it happened, one of the eggs implanted. OK now let me tell you I didn’t want to move for 9 months and really I did very little for the first 4 months and was so careful until the 9th month. I look back now and realize that I had a wonderful pregnancy and my son was born on August 18th, 2008. He is the love of our lives and was worth every tear, tantrum, mad, sad and confused feeling that came along with the process. All the med’s, all the shots, all the mood swings (just roll with them).
    Please look forward and believe, be so grateful that you live where Dr. Kiltz is working and you will get there. The biological issue becomes a non-issue trust me and I know both sides since I was adopted.
    My love and prayers are with you….Janet

  2. April
    April says:

    Oh Janet!
    Thanks so much for sharing such a personal and exceptional story of perseverence. You are correct – the biological issues can become non-issues if we are willing to do whatever it takes to become a parent. I love that, in addition to the biology of infertility and your understanding of that, you were adopted and know what a gift that is as well. Again – what a triumphant story! Thanks so much for sharing your journey and positive outlook with us!
    Blessings to you,

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