April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately three years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. CNY Fertility Center has locations in Syracuse, Albany and Rochester, NY.
Week 70: The Actual Consultation Appointment
A consultation appointment can be overwhelming. Having gone through many of these appointments ourselves, I know that having a focused consultation appointment empowers me to feel more in control. As a result, here is a list of tips I have complied to help you have a productive discussion with the doctor:
- If you have a spouse or significant other, make sure s/he is there with you. Consultation appointments are important learning opportunities and trouble shooting sessions. If one particular date does not work for both of you, then wait. It is imperative that you have the support you need!
- Research some possible options for your situation. You can use CNY’ Fertility’s website as well as any of the websites complied in my resource page.
- With your spouse, write a list of discussion points/questions you want to discuss with the doctor, and bring those with you to the appointment. If possible, e-mail the doctor ahead of time with those questions.
- Included somewhere in your list of questions, should be a clear statement about what you want. Try something like the following two suggestions:
“We want to move forward by trying ___________________. What do you think?”
“We feel as though _______________ may be a good option for us. What do you think?”
- Bring a notebook to take notes on what the doctor says. You don’t want to forget any of the answers to your questions.
- Try to make the appointment at the end of your work day or to at least schedule some “free” time after the appointment so you can have a discussion with your husband/spouse/family sooner rather than later. If too much time goes by, you may forget some of the technicalities or emotions you felt.
- It is also important to schedule some “free” time after the appointment so that you can internalize what you learned and begin to evaluate your next step.
- An alternative to discussing the appointment right away may be to instead spend some time writing down your reactions to the appointment and to then compare your reflection to your spouse’s, ensuring each of you has some uninterrupted time to process your thoughts and to then discuss your reflection. By nature, I interrupt, so this may be a great way to allow both of us to reflect and then “spit it back out” with some fluency, focus and few tangents.
- I have a tendency to get emotional after appointments. Perhaps, going out to a public place afterward or whenever you are ready to discuss your reflections will foster less emotional, more factual discussion. I have a tendency to become an emotional mess when I am at home, but can hold it together better in public.
Remember, you and your team of specialists are all on the same page. They want you to succeed and they are willing to answer your questions, support you emotionally, and help you determine the path that will most likely lead to success. With a little bit of preparation, you and you spouse should feel ready for a productive consultation appointment.
Getting the facts,
April all Year