NEWS

Dr. Rob’s Monthly Teleworkshop with Kristen Magnacca: Bargaining
Posted by: Editor on Oct 03, 2011 in News

Monday, October 17th, 6:00pm please join Kristen as she shares her unique insight as she experienced it while on her journey to fertility. All participants will have an opportunity to share, ask questions or just listen in. Listen in from the comfort of your own home. RSVP to Kristen@cnyfertility.com or email any comments or questions before the workshop. No cost to attend.

Don’t You Just Love A Bargain?
This past weekend I went to retrieve the plastic binds filled with autumn decorations and, to my dismay, they were all water damaged and moldy due to our damp cellar.

The pumpkins, wreaths and other autumn paraphernalia went straight into the trash… and off I went to the Christmas Tree Shop. http://www.christmastreeshops.com Here’s the website, in case you’re unfamiliar with one of my favorite stores.

The Christmas Trees Shops opened right here on sunny Cape Cod and have grown to include stores in many states.  The store’s slogan is “Don’t You Just Love A Bargain?”  and I am one girl who does!

A “bargain” is a thing bought or offered for sale more cheaply than is usual or expected.

Driving home with all my “bargains” of autumn decorations, I thought about bargain’s many meanings. For example, bargaining means negotiating the terms and conditions of a transaction.

During fertility treatments, I began self-bargaining.  I bargained with God, my body, my mind and my soul in my attempts to become a mom.

Bargaining with my body: “Okay, I know I am asking a great deal of you, but if you can put up with one more cycle, then I’ll take a break!”

Bargaining with my mind: “Please stop!  I’ll think those obsessive thoughts for only the next 10 minutes and then I will stop lamenting.”

Bargaining with my God: “When you send me a baby I will dedicate myself to helping other going through this so they won’t feel the pain I have experienced.”

Now here’s the soul bargaining.  We all have the ability to tolerate what might be perceived as intolerable in order to fulfill a dream or goal of the heart.  We might rationalize and say it will only last for a brief moment and then I will pay back my soul later…

The practice of bargaining or making a deal with oneself is a necessary coping strategy. But when you loose yourself to the dream or process, then the situation becomes out of balance.  So everyone needs to be mindful of not going overboard with self-bargaining.

Which brings me back to those damp, musty decorations. They were almost brand new and were so pretty last year. But I had to throw them away so I could create a space for some new ones. The same occurs with balancing self-bargaining during infertility treatment. You sometimes need to release something that at one time was very important to you in order to create a space for something new and delightful to come into your life.

In fact, one of the most important definitions of bargaining is an agreement between two or more parties about what each party will do for the other

So as you move forward through this part of your life’s journey, please remember that the most important bargain is the one you make between yourself and your soul.  If you’re not certain what your soul is whispering to you, place your hand on your heart and ask the simple question: “What am I longing for?”

Your answer will come in the form of a feeling, whisper or vision and your intention will bring you to a place where you will love the bargain you made. Remember, this time in your life will someday end and you will be glad that you were able to keep your integrity intact.

I hope to chat with you this month during the teleworkshop.

Blessings,
Kristen

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