Monday, August 15th, 6:00pm please join Kristen as she shares her unique insight as she experienced it while on her journey to fertility. All participants will have an opportunity to share, ask questions or just listen in. Listen in from the comfort of your own home. RSVP to Kristen@cnyfertility.com or email any comments or questions before the workshop. No cost to attend.
Are you a compliant person?
When you were young and learning to color did you focus intently on coloring within the lines, making sure the crayon stayed perfectly within the bold black border of the image in your coloring book?
Now that you’re grown up and wanting to create your family are these same perfectionism tendencies spilling over into your family creation journey?
Perfectionism is a coping strategy that creates a sense of security and safety. If we manage to stay perfect and control life then things will be fine.
So how do we walk the line of trying to be perfect and perhaps feeling imperfect at the same time?
Creating a habit of connecting and reconnecting with the notion that we are all perfect, just where we are right at this given moment, helps us to notice this tendency and also to accept it as a coping strategy and then dig deeper to see what emotions our perfectionism is hiding.
This month, I have heard from women at the end of their fertility cycle whose results have come back negative. Their protective voice filled with heartbreak and hopefulness at the same time. Their voices shared the heartbreak of all the effort, scheduling and financial pressure that produced a negative result while also looking forward to their goals and contemplating their next action steps.
I recently read in a magazine an article about “Be Bad, Be Happy” and thought how this hits the perfectionism in all of us, that we need to change it up and embrace “being bad” sometimes. I don’t mean to rob a bank or hurt someone intentionally. By “Bad” I mean break out of the perfectionism mind set that is pervasive within our culture and also present when you feel knee deep in the fertility treatment journey.
I remember controlling all that I ate, drank and thought, exercised and even planned during my journey. Then one day I thought to myself that this is totally out of balance, obsessive and compulsive. So I implemented my “bad” which for me was to have a cup of half decaf and half regular coffee per day!!!
That was my going rouge!
I still insisted on making sure my injections were at the appropriate time, didn’t consume alcohol and walked instead of running… basically acted as if I was perfectly pregnant.
So the nudge or homework is for you to “be bad” in a way that is in complete alignment with your truth. Going rouge that is just perfect for you? Sleeping late on the weekend, reading instead of cleaning the bathroom? Perhaps, going through the 12 item line at the check out when you have 13 items!!!
Create that moment that takes you out of your routine and adds a sparkle of naughty! We all need to break through the bold black lines once in awhile!