April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately three years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. CNY Fertility Center has locations in Syracuse, Albany and Rochester, NY.
Week 71: The Egg Donor Option
Before any woman can fully examine the egg donor possibility she must examine her feelings about this emotional process. Throughout this process, I have associated the following thoughts with the egg donor option:
- Women helping women
- Sadness over my child not having a biological link to me
- Moving forward
What I like most about this option is that egg donors exemplify the beauty of women helping women. Upon reviewing many donor profiles, my husband and I noticed that numerous donors are already mothers who want to pass on the gift of motherhood to women who need an egg donor to make that dream a reality. Others are not mothers but know of women who have struggled on their journey to motherhood and simply want to help others create life. When I think of the fact that women did not even have such an option one generation ago, I feel hopeful and excited that I do have this opportunity. I am truly grateful to the women who give up their time, their bodies and their oocytes so that I may have a son or daughter. I feel as though I can move forward because someone else sees the value in my innate desire to mother even though she does not know me.
There are, however, some feelings of sadness that juxtapose the hopeful feelings. For example, the idea that there will never be a “little April” running around the house still makes me tear up for a quick moment, but then I remember the other part of the egg donor option. There will be a “little April” running around the house because she will have my feisty personality and my sassy spirit. My son or daughter may not have my facial features, but she or he will certainly have my facial expressions. My child will find a love for all things Italian and Portuguese because I will teach her the value of her ancestry. I will teach my baby how to be strong and happy because his mother will be an example of strength and joy. And, of course, my baby will have my tenacity because I will teach my child that persistence really does pay off and will remind my baby that he or she is proof of that! The characteristics that will make my baby mine do not come from blood or genes, but from love and nurturing.
My sincere hope is you remember that motherhood is about much, much more than DNA.
April all Year