April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two and a half years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. CNY Fertility Center has locations in Syracuse, Albany and Rochester, NY.
Week 50: Others’ Pregnancies
Some women find it difficult to be happy when their friends announce a pregnancy. (And all of my friends seem to have caught the pregnancy bug over the last three years!) Oftentimes, the news of a friend or family member’s pregnancy can be a painful reminder of our own journey to fertility. I have to admit, I used to feel that jealous, sad feeling when I would find out about others’ pregnancies. Over the first year of trying to conceive though, something changed for me. I must have realized that being miserable over someone else’s pregnancy was not going to make me more fertile. I also realized that I would much rather know about a friend’s pregnancy than not know. Why? Well, I will find out eventually anyway! And there is still a part of me that believes that being around pregnant women has to, at some point already, have a positive impact on my own fertility. Having written about this before, you may remember my story of asking a pregnant friend (or two or more) to let me touch them, just so I could get some of their baby Qi (energy). There is even an old-wives tale about how holding a baby helps women get pregnant. (I have and continue to do this as often as possible!)
While the cliché phrase, “If you can’t beat ‘em, you may as well join ‘em,” may not easily apply to others’ pregnancies, it certainly somewhat applies. Think about it – we want to be pregnant but shunning pregnant women will not make us fertile nor will being jealous help our causes. As we journey through our fertility challenges, there are many upsetting moments, but I refuse to let someone else’s happiness trigger any of my upset moments.
That does not mean there are not days when I am upset and angry about the fact that we have not yet conceived, but I am not angry or upset with the pregnant couples. I am angry and upset because life in general just is not always fair. However, I know there are many paths to family building and that we will one day announce news of our own… one day!
April all Year
Click here to read April’s blog including all of her previous articles.